5 Things you need to know before you marry a Chinese woman.

I tried to google it but there is just nothing out there. There is some info about wives in general but not much about Chinese wives. More and more people choose to come to china, live here, find a girlfriend or settle down and have kids like me. Hopefully this article will help you avoid my mistakes. Learn and enjoy. 1. Money comes first – even before a baby. It sounds a bit outrages when you read it first but it’s the truth. Huge population and strong completion among Chinese people created this hunger for being better than others. Social status, money, power connections seems to be in the center of attention. Perception is everything and if you can create this aura around you than it seems all doors are open to you. Having money helps establish you on the social ladder. We are all familiar with India having class system, England has lords and China has the money factor to separate ordinary people from better people. Lack of money in your relationship will cause your spouse and her family to loose respect for you. Later on hate and in the end will despise you. Husbands that happen to lose their job end up getting divorces and most likely with children. Yes you are reading it right after a divorce ex-wife usually doesn’t have anything to do with children. She starts a new family with someone with money and husband ends up without a wife and with a child without a mother.

2. Social status is very important to a Chinese wife– even more important than you. Social status is everything here. How you are perceived is how you will be treated. As a foreigner you get some initial interest mixed with curiosity from women. However this doesn’t last long and if you don’t make an impression than I am afraid you are doomed. Therefore if you want to make the move you better make it fast and decisive. Sealing the deal with your girlfriend is very important. Meet the parents, engage, even have a baby as soon as possible. Remember it’s easy to open the door but to keep it open is not. You will find that initial curiosity quickly wears off and they will see you for you are. Most of the western values like enjoy your life or find a hobby don’t really go along Chinese thinking. Most of the time you will be seen by a family as a looser, someone who wastes time on some not important things. Please remember they actually listen to their parents so this will eventually influence your girlfriend decisions.

3. She will argue fight with you at home and later when outside in front of others she will behave as nothing happened. Arguments and fight are pretty common because women here like the attention and a chance to vent so get used to them. During the arguments it’s better to look interested therefore they don’t last that long. You need to learn how to swallow your pride and say things that will make her happy. Try not to take it to your heart what is being said because they said some cruel things that they don’t mean. It’s just a way of getting to you. You can mention her ex-boyfriends, some things about your family and much more so be ready. The best to prepare you is to actually read a book The Art of War. It will help you understand how they think. I will be writing my next article about that book and how it influences the Chinese culture.

4. She will sleep till noon. Don’t be alarmed if you see that your girlfriend or wife sleeping till noon or even longer. It’s a normal thing. It’s an extended beauty sleep as many people call it here. The Chinese one child policy and boys being preferred to girls resulted in a huge discrepancy in girls to boy’s ratio. The huge demand for potential wives creates some abnormalities in women’s behavior. To get a wife you need to have a house, car, steady good job and be able to tolerate her just being there as a wife and not as a contributor. That means she is allowed to sleep long hours. If you are not really to do this than someone else will. Remember also not to disrupt that sleep unless you want to face and angry monster all day.

5 Don’t try to change her You actually will be better off if you let her change herself then trying to change her. It’s better to treat her lack of job or sleeping a lot, playing with her friends as just being a girl. They were brought up in the environment where many things are given to them and them getting lots of attention so you trying to change it won’t work. I found that it’s better to use that energy and her energy to improve you. Use her knowledge to advance in their system f beliefs. It’s much easier to change for us that for them. Creativity is not their strong suit because of their education system which focuses on remembering things and not creating things like ours.

Hopefully all the advice will be of some help you. Marriage and especially with someone from another culture is hard and brings many challenges. However it’s worth it.

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